LOVE, SEX & FRIENDSHIP: Where do you fit in?

In today’s society we can’t help but put everything in a specific category. Our culture is so obsessed with putting labels on everything from race, religion, and sexual orientation, just to name a few. I guess its our way to subconsciously attempt to control every aspect of our lives,(which we can’t) or give our selves some kind of validation. But in this game called Love, it’s easier said than done. At one point or another we have all put ourselves in categories or hoped we would fit the mold of a particular one. Love, sex, and friendship seems to be no different; you may be looking for one, and end up being in a new category altogether. When do you admit exactly what it is that you are looking for and for your partner (or hoped to be partner) the same?

When a man and woman first meet, usually right off the bat he or she tells the potential mate what it is their “looking” for. Whether seeking a casual or serious encounter, the issue is that men and women are on two totally different planets when it comes to language. When women say they are “looking”, they tend to put it all on front street that they want their Mr. Perfect husband that will give them kids, and live happily  ever after (don’t front ladies, you know its true).
When men say they’re looking: The key word is “looking.” I don’t usually make assumptions (because you know what they say about making assumptions) but I’m pretty sure I’m right about this one. Despite the claims to the contrary, I believe men are ALWAYS looking for a serious relationship, or at least a young lady worth one. The problem is they wont say it because many women tend to think that this guy is looking for a serious relationship with them specifically, while this is only sometimes the case. When men say they’re looking for a serious relationship, doesn’t mean its necessarily with you!

Besides the whole language barrier between men and women, I do think as human beings we are afraid of rejection. We as people may tend to go along with being “just a friend” just because its easier or  because we really like that individual and see the possibilities that may come. This can be problematic because you may be longing for something long term, and the other person is looking for something casual, or worse, nothing romantic at all. Or you may go along with the casual dating, thinking if you agree to their terms, you can eventually convince them to change their mind (Ladies we do think we can fix things) and get what you’ve been hoping for all this time. WARNING: This will/may blow up in your face. When that person doesn’t have the change of heart  you hoped for, you end up feeling as if you wasted your time. And you would be absolutely right. Fortunately, all of this can be easily avoided if you are just honest with yourself and that individual.
Now, think about the relationship that your in. Is it what you truly want? Can you honestly say that you just wanted this person as a cut buddy? (hehe) Or do you REALLY want them to be the love of your life? Is your boyfriend/girlfriend better as a friend than a partner?  These are important things you need to ask yourself  if you desire true happiness. Whoever you’re dealing with, I thinking its best to just be upfront and honest on whatever it is that your looking for. If you feel that you have to lie or cover what is it that you really want to be with them; let’s face it: THIS PERSON ISN’T FOR YOU. We need to be aware of our self-worth and know that we will find our right person for whatever category, no need to stay settled within the most important factor…… YOURSELF♥