How To Bag A Cougar!

A helpful guide for finding and dating a cougar!  Find out how to step your game up with these simple instructions after the jump!
@jazzyvadney

A cougar is an older woman who enjoys dating younger men, and this coupling has seemingly become more popular in recent years. Although it’s always been done, it wasn’t as socially accepted as older men dating younger women. But with Hollywood couples like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and the hit TV show “Cougar Town,” cougars seem to be growing in numbers and are on the prowl. If you’re a younger man looking to date an older woman, all you need is to follow a few tips to catch your cougar.
1. Research cougar hangouts. Older women typically are not into the club scene where the music is so loud you have to shout to hear each other. Find upscale bars that draw a mature crowd. Wine bars, martini bars and cocktails lounges are a few suggestions. Another suggestion are places that young, single men hang out. Cougars on the prowl know where to find the younger men, so if you go to a sports bar and see a couple of older women pretending to be interested in the games, they might be looking for cubs.
2. Go online. With so many people opting to use online dating as a way to meet people, you can be sure there are many sites catering to the older woman/younger man coupling. As with any dating website, you want to find the sites that best fit what you’re looking for. Know what you want. There are divorced cougars, cougars with children, cougars just looking for something casual and some who want relationships. It would be a good idea to know what you want before starting your cougar hunt. An example: dateacougar.com
3. Be confident. No matter what age a man is, women like confidence. If you’re intention is to find a cougar, you have to project an image of self-assurance. Many older women have the confidence that a younger woman hasn’t developed yet because of her life experiences. You have to be able to match that by letting her know that you can handle anything that comes with dating a cougar. Be energetic. Many women date younger men because they have more energy than men their own age. If you exude a lust for life and a spontaneous attitude, this will attract a cougar.
4. Approach an older woman. There’s no better way to find a cougar than to demonstrate your ability to strike up a conversation. This shows confidence and maturity. Be knowledgeable about things that an older woman is interested in. For example, if music is a topic of conversation, don’t just talk about music that’s current. Know something about the music that was popular when she was your age.

Tips for applying your Violent Lips

Womans Spartan Law!

Men are taught to be strong, tough, and not take shit from anyone. Nice Guys finish last is embedded in our brains. So when it’s time to go for what we want, we go for it. The most successful men in this country don’t give a fuck. Donald Trump went at Obama’s neck not because he wants to be President; Trump is strategically trying to get ratings for his show and place his brand in the world of politics. Mark Zuckerberg fucked over a few classmates en route to 50 billion, who cares? He won. It’s not about how you got there, it’s about getting there. Ruthless aggression and self-preservation are not evil things, that’s word to Vince McMahon. Men stab each other in the back and then shake hands over drinks—it’s the business of life. 

But what about females, why aren’t they taught these things? If a Woman were to come out and try to Donald Trump the president she’d be called all kinds of bitches or turned into a punchline like Sarah Palin. Women get beat in the head with this notion of “that’s not right, that’s not lady like, that’s bad karma, sisterhood rah rah rah!” Fuck that noise with a NeNe Leak’s dick.Your mother may have told you to wait your turn like a good little girl, but I’m saying cut in front of that bitch becasue this club’s about to hit capacity! Romantic comedies, cartoons, even the shit they teach in school, it’s all sexist bullshit meant to keep girls in the kitchen. Look at history and see how they now label Cleopatra as a whore, called Joan of Arc a crazy Lesbian, and painted Elizabeth the 1^st as a frigid cunt. Who do they parade as modern American Royalty? The Kennedys. Really? The King ruled and the so called Queen had no power, her job was to sit there and wave in her nice, soon to be blood splattered, pink dress. Where are the real women? Those who refuse to play by the rules? Those who want more out of life than what is on the table.

Spartans: The strongest women on the planet. They follow no one. They obey no one. They aren’t offended, they offend. They don’t wait, they take. They are the Alpha Females.

Spartan Law Vol. 1:

He’s Only Her Man Because You Allow it: The entire notion of taking another girl’s man is controversial because some women don’t think its right. Right is a direction, so fuck what you think. If you choose to sit in your bedroom and paint your nails until Mr. Right throws a rock at your window. Do you. But Spartans don’t have time to follow your rules. He looks good. He acts even better. Are the bonds of his relationship strong enough to deny you what you want? Hell no. If he wants you—he must leave her first. It’s that easy. You didn’t break up anything, you gave him an option—a better option. She had no chance against you. Duh, Spartan!

She’s Not A BFF She’s A Sidekick: There can only be two Spartans per group of friends. One will be the leader, the other is equally as powerful but let’s the other take the lead… for now. The rest of those hoes are followers. Being a follower isn’t a bad thing, Batman needs Robin, and most women play their position and never realize the balance of power is not in their favor. On the Bad Girls club someone always makes the comment, “you don’t belong in the house you’re not a bad girl”. Why would they put all boss bitches in one house? Those Producers cast two alpha females and then surround them with weak bitches that are easy to manipulate, that’s good TV. You attack with pawns because Queens are too important. In real life it’s the same way, go to any club and you see Spartan #1 maybe Spartan #2 and the rest of those girls are pawn bitches. Spartans will have their girlfriends on their clit harder than a boy. She texts you all day, she wants to hang every weekend, she complains when you’re chilling with a new girl. She’s not gay, she’s been Spartan whipped. You are everything she wants to be but can’t, so she has to settle for being your best friend in the world. I had a girlfriend who would break her neck every time her bff called her and when she did her dirty she would cry her eyes out. The next week she was back up under her—she was weak, I holla’d at the wrong friend because her bestie was the Spartan.

Don’t Let Them Call You A Bitch Unless They Capitalize It: I read that the word “bitch” went through resurgence during the 80’s due to the fact that more and more women were becoming players in the corporate world. Bitch was meant to insult a woman who was domineering. Guys in pants didn’t like a woman in a skirt walking into the boardroom and being authoritative so the word bitch became fashionable again. I know rap music has overused it, but I still see that term as being positive. If a man can be overbearing in order to get the job done, he’s seen as a tough leader who’s respected and feared by his peers. When a woman does the same thing she’s a bitch who’s hated. Fuck that, if I were a woman I would legally change my name to Bitch because I would not be for play. People are going to talk about you regardless.Now are you going to make the guys at work cookies and let them smack your ass? Or are you going to embrace that role like a true Spartan and command respect. They may call you a bitch, but I guarantee you they won’t say it to your face. They fear you too much. I bet Oprah’s a Bitch. For everyone who loves her, those who do business with her have to fear the power she wields. Empires aren’t built on hugs and smiles, they’re built on fear. Fear lasts longer than love.

Being Selfish = Being Successful: Love is not a stop sign, that shit isn’t even a yield sign. Spartans don’t choose dick over self. You have dreams and aspirations, why should you sacrifice that because the man you love is on a different path? Men ask women to move across the country, pawn engagement rings, anything that’s needed for the good of the team. If you want to go to grad school or take an internship will he be there to support you in the same manner?  It doesn’t matter. You can’t arrange your life around a man. Love doesn’t abandon love, but love will wait. If you have moves you have to make, don’t let some weak man guilt you and don’t let him hold you back. This is your life Spartan. Your destiny doesn’t end with you getting a ring and popping out kids. Stop thinking about what others want, you come first.

Be A Lady: Playing by your own rules and knowing what you want in life doesn’t make you less feminine. You can still nurture, care, love, and watch the god damn Notebook. You’re not one of the guys, even if he can talk to you like one of the boys, you are a woman and should be treated like one. Spartans have to dumb down for certain men because men fear strong women. There is a bit of Superhero Alter Ego going on when dealing with an insecure man. We men are raised to think women are soft, that’s never going to change. But there is no need to go feminist Rambo bitch and open jars or change tires when he’s around just to prove yourself. Be Clark Kent. Put the glasses on and play that role every now and then. You know that there’s an S on your chest, but won’t it be cute to see the silly man rush to take care of things you know you can handle yourself? Men desperately need to be needed, I know you’re going to school for rocket science but let the motherfucker come hook up your computer to your printer.

Smash do not get Smashed: Porn stars are actresses. Not because they fake orgasms, it’s because they’re acting out a male fantasy. They’re telling him how big his dick is, how she’s a dirty slut, where she wants his cum. They’re being dominated because men want to beat off to submissive women. You can be brilliantly filthy without demeaning yourself.Jesse James told Howard Stern that Kat Von D was better in bed than Sandra Bullock, no shit! I can tell Miss Congeniality ain’t Yankin just by looking at her. Spartans are superior love makers. You don’t lay on your back and get fucked, you fuck back. You don’t let him eat you out, you sit on that face and grind that tongue until you’re ready for more dick. You don’t understand that he’s tired, you grab that dick and get it hard by any means necessary, you need your nut and you need it now! Not cuming is unsatisfactory, and you should not roll over and go to sleep without objecting to your lack of nut. Be vocal and let him know— “you owe me one”. You are a Spartan you can fuck any man you want to, he should be honored to even eat your pussy, the least he can do is make you cum. Watch Titanic, Rose wasn’t getting fucked in that car, she was fucking Jack. You are not his pussy—he is your dick, know the difference.

Not all women are Spartans; some strive to be but are still chained down by that inner kitchen bitch. It’s the 21st century stop being weak, stop being a follower, stop being shy, stop being pussy, and stop hiding behind this archaic idea of what’s lady like. I don’t care if its love, school, or your career— take shit from no one Spartan. There’s the pit—if she’s standing in your way kick her in the chest and watch that hoe fall in slow motion.

4 Diet Mistakes That Age You

What if the fountain of youth were in your own kitchen? While we’ve come to expect certain physical and mental changes as an inevitable part of getting older, the fact is that the foods we eat—or don’t—may speed those processes along, aging us before our time. The reason is simple: “We eat too many processed foods,” says David Katz, MD, director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center. “They’re often high in calories and low in nutrients such as vitamin B12 and omega-3s, so we end up with islands of deficiencies in a sea of excess.” These inadequacies can result in symptoms we tend to assume are due to aging, such as the four below. Work with your doctor to determine whether adjusting your diet or adding a supplement can help you look—and feel—younger.
Mistake #1: You avoid all animal protein.
Why it’s aging you: You may lack of vitamin B12. which is essential for energy.
Found only in foods that are derived from animals, this nutrient helps regulate your metabolism and energy production and is key to maintaining a healthy brain and nervous system. “Fatigue is a classic sign of B12 deficiency, which usually occurs in people who don’t eat very much animal protein,” says Danine Fruge, MD, associate medical director of the Pritikin Longevity Center & Spa in Miami. Chewing a lot of antacids to relieve heartburn can also lead to B12 deficiency because antacids interfere with B12 absorption.
Food Fix: Have two servings of nonfat dairy foods, such as fat-free milk or nonfat yogurt, and 3 to 4 ounces of lean protein daily. Good sources of B12 include seafood such as fish, clams, oysters, and mussels, as well as lean beef and pork, chicken, and fortified cereal.
Supplement Solution
Take 500 to 1,000 mcg of vitamin B12 in tablet form every day to raise and maintain your B12 levels.
Mistake #2: You avoid supplements.
Why it’s aging you: You miss manganese and copper, which help prevent joint pain.
Because manganese and copper are both essential for maintaining joint cartilage and flexibility, “in most cases, supplementing these nutrients reverses the joint deterioration and eliminates the pain,” says Dale Peterson, MD, director of the Comprehensive Wellness Center in Sapulpa, OK. “The body can actually repair a significant amount of damage if it’s given the proper support.”
Food Fix: Nuts, beef, and spinach are good sources of these nutrients, but you won’t be able to eat enough to get all your copper and manganese, so opt for a supplement, Dr. Peterson advises. Take 2 mg of copper and 5 mg of manganese each day. Within 2 to 3 months, your joints should feel less painful.
Mistake #3: You avoid fish and fat.
Why it’s aging you: Fish and healthy oils (like olive) offer the best source of omega-3 essential fatty acids ,which help prevent memory loss.
“These fatty acids are part of the brain’s building blocks,” explains Andrew Weil, MD, director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona. “If you’re not getting enough in your diet, the architecture of the brain becomes weak, and brain function, including memory, suffers.” But it’s not only the amount of omega-3s that’s important; the balance between omega-3s and omega-6s is equally crucial. “Our diets are flooded with omega-6 fatty acids, mostly from processed foods,” says Dr. Weil. “The more omega-6s you eat, the more omega-3s you need to balance your levels. Most of us aren’t eating enough omega-3s and are eating too many omega-6s.”
Food Fix: First, reduce your consumption of refined and processed foods much as possible, and cook with olive or canola oil. Then, eat 3 1⁄2 ounces of wild salmon and 3 1⁄2 ounces of herring, sardines, or halibut each week. Add 2 tablespoons of freshly ground flaxseed to cereal, whole grain side dishes, or shakes daily, and garnish salads or cereal with 1 tablespoon of walnuts 5 days a week. Finally, enjoy 9 to 12 almonds 4 times a week.
Supplement Solution
Take at least 2,000 mg of fish oil daily.
Look for 1,000 mg capsules of combined docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA).
Mistake #4: You favor packaged foods over whole.
Why it’s aging you: Packaged foods are high in blood pressure–spiking sodium—and fresh fruits and veggies contain blood pressure–lowering potassium.
“Having too little potassium in your diet magnifies the toxic effects of excessive salt intake,” Dr. Fruge says. Most processed foods have added sodium but no extra potassium, so if your meals come from boxes, you’re likely at risk. Worsening the situation, when your kidneys try to flush out the salt, you lose even more potassium. “The imbalance damages blood vessels, driving up blood pressure,” Dr. Fruge notes. “Eating better can correct the problem—I’ve seen people drop thirty points in three days.”
Food Fix: Cut your sodium consumption to no more than 1,500 mg per day, and eat seven to nine servings of fruits and vegetables every day.

7 SIGNS HE'S NOT TRYING TO MARRY YOU

Beyonce's song "Single Ladies" has everyone thinking it's all about putting a ring on it. Yes, getting a engagement ring is great, but after being engaged for several years... what does it really mean? You want your man to not just "Put a ring on it"... you want him to actually walk down the aisle.

Take a LONG and HARD look at this list and see if you see yourself.. if so, you might wanna re-evaluate your relationship.

1. You Have Been Reduced to Begging

For the woman who has been doing some serious hinting about getting married, it is often very hard to realize that conversations about marriage have been replaced with begging and pleading. If you have been reduced to begging, it is time to move on. Not only does he not plan on marrying you, but the type of guy who strings a woman along like this is likely to move on to more complex stalling tactics that can drag on for years without ever tying the knot.

2. An Engagement With No Date Set

Many guys find that presenting a women with a diamond ring is a great stalling technique. The men that have the financial means, can often get years worth of stall time with a large enough diamond. If you’ve been engaged for more than a few months and you still don’t have a date set, then the odds of you walking down the aisle with this man are extremely slim. The same goes for dates set two or more years into the future.

3. Waiting for the Right Time to Get Married

It sounds very responsible for your guy to say that he will ask you to marry him as soon as it is “the right time,” but this is usually another stalling tactic. People manage to tie the knot during less than perfect circumstances all the time, so why can;t he?

4. All of His Exes Are "Crazy"

Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy — because what's the common denominator here? Him. The dude's either looney-bin glue, or he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place and probably has commitment issues.

5. He's Hot and Cold on the Phone

He'll text you 10 times in a night, then go MIA for days. He'll chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the hell is going on? We're going to be brutally honest: He's mostly likely busy dating other women.

6. Stuff Is Missing from His Facebook Profile

Has he untagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? We smell a rat. A guy who's leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.

7. He hasn't asked you (no explanation needed)

5 STEPS to Get Your EX to Accept the DEUCES!!

Breaking up is never a simple task. Especially when you’ve gotta do the dumping.  If you’re a total schmuck, this article will be irrelevant.  But if you have a heart, follow these detailed steps to let them down easy.  Find out how after the jump!
@Jazzyvadney

1.  FADE TO BLACK:  Start decreasing the amount of time you spend with your soon to be ex.  This will make it easier for them to accept your absence when you completely fall of the face of the earth.  Just like you’ve gotta wean babies off of the nipple, you’ve gotta wean them off of you!  Lol, weird analogy I know.  But trust this will make all the difference.  After a few weeks of face to face deprivation, intiate break-up!  Now that that’s set in motion, you can prepare for the AFTERMATH!
2.  OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND:  Ok this might not be completely true for your ex but seeing them surely won’t help them cope.  Don’t visit or try to be a shoulder to lean on.  Tough love from a distance is KEY.  Yes, you might feel bad for them and want to give them some sympathy sex but this will only give them false hope!  They’ll be calling and texting but WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T SEE THEM!
3.  BOUNDARIES:  Let them know whether you intend to be friends or simply remain cordial.  You don’t want them to have to guess what this is.  Inform them of the new boundaries i.e. no late night booty calls, no visits, no dates, no meeting up, no nothing!
4.  LAY LOW:  Don’t be places where you know your ex could be.  You want to decrease the chances of you running into them.  Even if it means going out of your way to club across town.  Give them their space, stay out of their territory!
5.  DON’T FLAUNT IT:  So you have a new guy or girl.  Good for you, but bad for them.  They’re STILL getting over you!  It’s only been three days LOL.  Give it some time before you go showcasing your new love interest.  Don’t be places where you both be at wit no Biyatch!  Couldn’t resist the JOV quote.  I digress, this means, no mobile uploads to Facebook of you two feeding each other ice cream and cotton candy at the carnival! HA!  That’s just plain mean!
Now, if you’ve read this entire article you are an ARROGANT SWEETHEART!  Kudos to you for caring but really and truly get over yourself!  They might be over you already!  But if not, employ these strategies!
Hope that helped!

Are You HORRIBLE at SMALL TALK?? Get Them to Talk to YOU!!

Here are a few ways to lure in that girl or guy without saying a WORD!  Read more after the jump!
@jazzyvadney

Body language is key:
Smile!
You can attract more bees with honey than vinegar!  Always display those pearly whites.  It not only showcases your impeccable attractiveness.  It also displays a confident pleasantness!  This doesn’t mean grin ear to ear and throw on a pageant smile!  You don’t want them to think your weird but you do want to appear welcoming.  Sometimes when I’m in deep thought I can look mean.  I know I’m not the only one!  Be conscious of your facial expressions and give them the go-ahead to APPROACH YOU!
Open body posture!
Nix the crossed arms and ladies keep your hands OFF your hips.  Contrary to popular belief, guys don’t like attitude.  At least not at first.  Back straight, hands by your side!  If you’re one of those people that feels awkward when your hands are free, just grab a coke and put the other in your pocket.  Ladies, hold your cell or something.  The key is to be inviting.  When you cross your arms or legs, it usually displays that you are defending yourself or hiding something or shows an overall discomfort with your surroundings!
Forward lean!
So you’ve gotten them to approach you but how do you maintain the conversation.  We’ve established that you’re not the best flirt in the world so remain inviting with a forward lean.  Leaning forward versus leaning back in a conversation signals that you are interested and engaged.  Remember to establish comfort before doing so though.  Leaning too far forward before trust is established can translate as hostility or simply invading someone space. Use your common sense to gage this one!
Touch!
Ok maybe not so much for guys but this is great for girls.  Gently touch an arm or an elbow when making small talk.  It shows that you are comfortable, confident and that you’re enjoying his company.  AVOID touching the thigh especially on the first encounter!!  Unless you want him to think you’re propositioning him for sex.  Even though your intentions are innocent, sometimes guys’ minds get carried away LOL.  Avoid the lower body altogether!
Eye contact!
Look her in the eye, and ladies bat those lashes.  Don’t do anything that doesn’t come naturally!  Subtly give them the ‘come hither’.  LOL
Natural behavior!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…be YOURSELF!  Nothing is cornier than someone playing a role or acting out of character.  Although you might think you are being Casanova, most women can spot an actor.  Don’t try and be too cool, just BE NORMAL.  Be exactly who you are at the end of the day and you will genuinely attract someone.
Hope that was helpful!

THE WOMAN CODE

The Man Code, the unwritten law between all men regardless of race, age, religion, or gang affiliation. It’s real, and as men there are certain things we just don’t do to one another unless betrayed first. I’ve been accused of breaking the Man code when I write this blog, but while I await my punishment, I want to talk about the Woman Code. There is no unwritten rule between women, if you think there is, then you're asking for a world of hurt. This idea of sister hood is a joke, ask Hilary Clinton. A girl will betray another girl to gain favor with a man, how fucked up is that? A wise woman with great fellatio skills once said, "Girls ain’t shit". That person was my ex-girlfriend right after her bff stabbed her in the back,

Here is a female’s relationship with another female who she calls “Friend” àcool àdrama à cool again à more drama à cool again. REPEAT. A man’s relationship with his boys will stay at cool his entire life. If a man does something to piss his homie off, they deal with it. If he steps out of line big time— that nigga is DONE. A guy will say “I don’t fuck with him”. And it’s over, no more talking. I’m in the midst of sending out wedding invitations and some dudes aren’t going to get invited because some of my groom’s men feel they have been violated in a major way by certain dudes. Even though I’m cool with those other guys, I got to ride with the nigga I’m closest to—that's the Man Code. A female will say “I don’t fuck with her”, and then two weeks later they’re at the club shaking their ass together. So why bullshit? Why pretend that there is this underground sister hood? It's time to set some real rules...

THE WOMAN CODE

Don’t Share Your Struggle: “Oh girl, shit’s so fucked up, I got shorted on my check and I had to get money from Greg, but he wanted me to jerk him off” I don’t care if you have money issues, health issues, or relationship issues, don’t share your struggle with hoes. You and April might be cool this month, she may even give you good advice, but one day soon you will be beefing over something stupid and April will tell Tasha and em’: “You know she be jerking niggas dicks for money when her phone bill due?” or “They found a cysts in her coochie? It came from fucking all those Mexicans” or “You know her Mother lost her job and be borrowing money from her, bet she on crack again”. Anything you tell your present bestie, know it can be used to slander once she becomes your future enemy. I’ve seen it happen dozens of times.

Don’t Loan Money: Girls keep a running tab. If I pay for my boy to get in the club or buy him dinner, it’s not, “remember you owe me $37.50” it’s chalked up to the game. When a girl does another girl’s hair she’s counting how much grease she used, the oil sheen, and the electricity consumed while that bitch had the blow dryer running. You go out to the club; you can’t get a nigga to buy you that passion fruit mojito that you need to do your Dougie? “Oh I got you girl” bitch please, best believe your homegirl just added that 9 dollars (15 in LA) to her mental note pad. Next time you’re out and it’s time to pay for something, “what about that $103 you owe me” The other girl will have no idea how she’s amassed this much debt, she thought her friend was helping her out. And don’t try and get out of paying unless you want to ruin your credit score, it goes Experian, Equifax, TransUnion, and Lashonda Jenkins. If you don’t pay up she will go to the sisterhood and ruin your credit with them by saying, “don’t let that bitch hold nothing girl, she don’t pay you back.” So if you’re on hard times, and need 20 dollars to get in the club, I suggest you make up an excuse as to why you can’t come out. When you put money between two females the friendship will not last.

Don’t Talk About Dick: Girls talk about sex. I use to think it was short and sweet like, “yeah we did it”. No, these woman today go IN. I once walked into a speaker phone conversation of a girl explaining how some guy's dick wasn't that long but it was wide, and how she prefers short thicker ones rather than long skinny ones, I had to walk out of the room because it grossed me out, yet that description stuck with me because it was so traumatizing to hear a girl talk like that. But for a woman it satisfies a curiosity, and plants seeds. If you tell your homegirl how good he is at eating pussy or that he went extra and ate your ass, she stores that in her head. You talk about his dick game being the best you've had, even the most loyal woman will store that data like a motherfucking usb drive. You’re sisters, nothing will happen right? Lmao! You told her he made you cum... this girl doesn't even know what that feels like. Why wouldn't she want conduct her own test? I’ve had it happen on a few different occasions where the friends of an ex gave me their number. This one girl was my ex’s super best friend, they were like blood sisters. I started talking to her on the phone and I’m like, “so yall don’t hang anymore?” this hoe had the nerve to say, “she was just over here, that’s what reminded me to call you”. I’m a man, I have no obligation to the ex not to fuck her friend, but her friend should have enough respect for her not to go there. I stopped talking to her because I knew what the end result would be between the two of them, but in retrospect I should have smashed and let them deal with it. Don't kiss and tell.

Three Months: I know she’s your friend, and you don’t want to end up as “that girl” who picked up the leftovers, but fuck that. If your friend dates a guy for three months or less, you have the right to sign him to a contract. Don’t ask permission because she’ll say, “I was thinking about getting back with him” just to keep you at bay. I suggest giving her a one month period after the breakup to pick up the option on the ex boyfriend. If she doesn’t get back with him in those 30 days or talk about going back to him, then you’re free to do your thing.

Secret Shop: “Where did you buy that?” I hate hearing that shit. Every time I’m out with my girl, someone asks her some random question about a bracelet or a blouse. Why do you care? Why would you want to go buy something another girl has? I remember girls used to front back in the day, “I got this from New York” for some reason when I was younger every girl would lie and say they brought clothes from New York, where in reality they brought it from the Flea Market. Thanks to the internet you can get fly with clothing from Paris, Japan, or even some hand me down shit you found on Craigslist and no biting ass hoe can steal your swag as long as you delete your browser history. Where did you get that? Just say, "New York".

Get To Know Her Man: A good man is hard to find, so use your three month rule. You know your homegirl has issues, she doesn’t know how to keep a man, and she’ll always go running back to her ex from four years ago. So why not do some pre-gaming of your own? Talk to her current boyfriend, see what he likes, if he’s cool, has a good job. Give him the flirt test to make sure he's not a cheater. Your homegirl will fill you in on the sex stuff and there you have it, more info than E-Harmony could ever give you. Who knows, he may be way more compatible with you than he was with her. By the end of their two month relationship, you can pretend to just find him on Facebook, and then proceed to ask, “so what have you been up to, buddy?".

Frienemy: You love her, you’ll do anything for her, she’s your motherfucking girl— I understand. But do me this one favor, in the back of your head; know that any moment she can turn on you. Have you ever seen the Terminator sequels? The T2 has been reprogrammed to be John Connor’s friend and protect him. But Sarah Connor, being the wise woman that she is, warns her son, “He’s still a Machine”. John Connor loves the Terminator, but he has to be prepared for that son of a bitch to go Skynet on him. So while they laugh and say “Hasta La Vista Baby”, John is only seconds away from blowing his fucking head off. That’s what it’s like to be a girl, you can trust your girlfriend all you want, but as soon as a new girl comes around, a cute guy comes into the picture, or a promotion is up for grabs, she will Terminate your ass using all the information you’ve given her over the years.

You’ve been warned.

7 Solid Signs Your Lover Is About To Start Causing Drama

Happy Friday! Earlier this week, the hip hop world witnessed a supreme example of messy people. I won’t go into who, why or how they were messy, but its not that hard to find out. With that said, are there signs that the person you’re with might be messy?
We all know the type of messy people who go on twitter, tell all of your business or leak naked pictures of you because y’all broke up. I had an ex, who sent me a random sexy video of her playing with herself. Turns out her ex-boyfriend got jealous hacked into her account and sent the video she sent him to everyone in her address book. Just messy!
I’ve been with messy women, I’ve even crossed paths with messy dudes who felt the need to tell me all about the girl I stole from him. Newsflash to all messy people, you’d keep more lovers. Duh, Winning. So how do you pick up on a messy lover before they get messy? Here are a couple of tips.

• Missed Call Log: If you look at your missed calls and the person you’re in a relationship with called you more than 5 times in 45 minutes. Something is wrong. Leave a message and wait for a call back.
• Computer Jocking: If you’re on the internet and the person you’re with is always looking over your shoulder trying to find out what you’re doing, they might be messy.
• Phone Check Homie!: If the person you’re with is always trying to check your phone, chances are if they find any dirt on you, or have any dirt on you they are going to use twitter to ruin you. Being the FBI of cell phones is not love it’s insanity.
• Telling Your Business: If your lover is quick to put you on blast in a joking way, then should be cautious to the things they might say or do if you break up. Beware.
• Tweets Is Watching: Have you ever been tweeting someone, and when all of a sudden your significant other innocently jumps in. Sure twitter is public, but if two people have no business talking to one another, why are they talking? Why do they want to be friends? Maybe it’s just me but that’s a messy flag in my book.
• What They Do: If you’re concerned about your lover being messy, pay attention to the things they do. Do they get too much of a kick out of people getting put on blast? Do they enjoy the mayhem of messy people a bit too much? If so they may be on the path to being messy. If they stay on MTO and Bossip messy flag! Hash tag just saying.
• Idle Threats: If your boo has hit you with a couple of idle threats in this week, they might be messy. Stuff like “if you come in late i’ll cut you, haha” or “keep playing with me and watch what I do (devilish grin) If they say things like that or similar things then they have it in them, have thought about and are capable of doing something with the attempt to embarrass you in public.

This isn’t to say we all don’t get messy from time to time, all I am trying to say is beware of the signs. Have you ever dealt with a messy person? Have you ever been messy? Do you know someone who is messy? Look it’s no need to be messy, why do you want to air all of your dirty laundry and spend the day conversing about your private life with the circus of twitter, facebook or just people you don’t know? Its dumb and childish. Let’s converse.

Quote of the Week: The Rock

"I would love to meet the person who is starting rumors of my death - to show them how a dead foot feels up their ass." - The Rock

LOVE, SEX & FRIENDSHIP: Where do you fit in?

In today’s society we can’t help but put everything in a specific category. Our culture is so obsessed with putting labels on everything from race, religion, and sexual orientation, just to name a few. I guess its our way to subconsciously attempt to control every aspect of our lives,(which we can’t) or give our selves some kind of validation. But in this game called Love, it’s easier said than done. At one point or another we have all put ourselves in categories or hoped we would fit the mold of a particular one. Love, sex, and friendship seems to be no different; you may be looking for one, and end up being in a new category altogether. When do you admit exactly what it is that you are looking for and for your partner (or hoped to be partner) the same?

When a man and woman first meet, usually right off the bat he or she tells the potential mate what it is their “looking” for. Whether seeking a casual or serious encounter, the issue is that men and women are on two totally different planets when it comes to language. When women say they are “looking”, they tend to put it all on front street that they want their Mr. Perfect husband that will give them kids, and live happily  ever after (don’t front ladies, you know its true).
When men say they’re looking: The key word is “looking.” I don’t usually make assumptions (because you know what they say about making assumptions) but I’m pretty sure I’m right about this one. Despite the claims to the contrary, I believe men are ALWAYS looking for a serious relationship, or at least a young lady worth one. The problem is they wont say it because many women tend to think that this guy is looking for a serious relationship with them specifically, while this is only sometimes the case. When men say they’re looking for a serious relationship, doesn’t mean its necessarily with you!

Besides the whole language barrier between men and women, I do think as human beings we are afraid of rejection. We as people may tend to go along with being “just a friend” just because its easier or  because we really like that individual and see the possibilities that may come. This can be problematic because you may be longing for something long term, and the other person is looking for something casual, or worse, nothing romantic at all. Or you may go along with the casual dating, thinking if you agree to their terms, you can eventually convince them to change their mind (Ladies we do think we can fix things) and get what you’ve been hoping for all this time. WARNING: This will/may blow up in your face. When that person doesn’t have the change of heart  you hoped for, you end up feeling as if you wasted your time. And you would be absolutely right. Fortunately, all of this can be easily avoided if you are just honest with yourself and that individual.
Now, think about the relationship that your in. Is it what you truly want? Can you honestly say that you just wanted this person as a cut buddy? (hehe) Or do you REALLY want them to be the love of your life? Is your boyfriend/girlfriend better as a friend than a partner?  These are important things you need to ask yourself  if you desire true happiness. Whoever you’re dealing with, I thinking its best to just be upfront and honest on whatever it is that your looking for. If you feel that you have to lie or cover what is it that you really want to be with them; let’s face it: THIS PERSON ISN’T FOR YOU. We need to be aware of our self-worth and know that we will find our right person for whatever category, no need to stay settled within the most important factor…… YOURSELF♥

23 Signs You're In A Emotionally Abusive Relationship

These signs can apply to BOTH Females & Males. If you or someone you know think you might be in a emotionally abusive relationship... Please know that you are worth more and deserve better. Emotional abuse is the first warning that comes before actual physical abuse. The warning signs may not be obvious to you at first... Take a look at the emotional abuse warning signs i found on the helpguide.org website. Also visit a article i posted back in January 2011.

Do you have inner thoughts & feelings like these?

• feel afraid of your partner much of the time?

• avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

• feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

• believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?

• wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?

• feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner have the following belittleing behavior?

• humiliate or yell at you?

• criticize you and put you down?

• treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?

• ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?

• blame you for his own abusive behavior?

• see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Does your partner have violent behavior or threats?

• have a bad and unpredictable temper?

• hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?

• threaten to take your children away or harm them?

• threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

• force you to have sex?

• destroy your belongings?

Does your partner have controlling behavior like this?

• act excessively jealous and possessive?

• control where you go or what you do?

• keep you from seeing your friends or family?

• limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

• constantly check up on you?

You don’t have to live in fear:
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at:
1-800-799-7233 source (helpguide.org)

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR RATCHET BY NC17

I got a lot of love this week and I really appreciate everyone who’s commented and tweeted me. One email really caught my attention. A 16 year old boy hit me up with a question that blew my mind and I had to share it with everyone. “Dumb question but how do I get a ratchet”. There is no such thing as a dumb question; actually this one in particular was brilliant. Shorty wrote what a lot of grown ass men think but are afraid to say. On Wacka Flocka’s LP one of his Bricksquad goons spits, “Fuck a School Girl, I want a Ratchet”, and that one bar sums up millions of men. Yeah we want the pussy, but we also want a relationship—a non serious relationship. A Ratchet represents those females who don’t take things too seriously; they talk about the same ignorant shit that you and your boys talk about. They drink, they smoke, and they’re not prudish when it comes to sex. Ratchet chicks are Goons with Lacefronts; they’re perfect for the carefree man because they’re overly basic.

You can sit there with your expensive Indian hair, Sak’s fifth wardrobe, college education, and think you’re a catch. NO! You are intimidating. You look fancy and talk intelligently; men can’t be themselves around you, he’s not looking for a wife right now, he’s looking to cut loose. Niggas don’t have time to invest in project Fancy Bitch, they want low maintenance. Call it "being afraid of real women" blah blah blah, but it's truth to that. Ratchets in their Baby Phat accessories, Apple Bottom skirt, and Chinese Laundry heels may look tacky to other females, but men don't care where she brought that small ass skirt? Men don’t go to eat pussy then stop because it smells like Forever 21. Designer clothing looks the same as Flea Market clothing when it’s on my floor. $120 a pack hair looks the same as $19.99 hair in the dark. Ratchets are fun in the bedroom and out, that’s a fact! But I warn those who seek out Ratchets to know what they’re in for, it’s a reason why people buy diamonds and not cubic zirconia. If you’re going to go after a Ratchet, you must know how to handle her.

Ratchets Don’t Use Chop Sticks: You’re a man who’s use to taking dimes out on a good date, it’s only natural that you assume that Ratchets too enjoy fine dining. Ratchets are like gremlins, you can’t feed these hoes certain things. I had a homeboy take this Ratchet down to the harbor and feed her Phillips Seafood. He was trying to be romantic; you can’t romance a Ratchet with sparkling water and Market Price. You’re going to be the one feeling dumb when she calls the Waiter “yo” and asks "why the fuck they don’t just put the price, because she don’t know how much it costed at the market". McDonald's is your friend, don’t fight that shit, it’s a reason why they have over a billion served.

Ratchets Don’t like Simps: Check your balls, make sure you have two, because Ratchets are hard. If you’re a LoL sweetie pie don’t link up with a Ratchet because like any female, she has the potential to play the fuck out of you. Just because the bitch can’t say “ask” properly doesn’t mean she can’t “Ax” for shit in a way that makes you melt in her hands. Ratchets can separate real from fake quicker than you think and their trick radar is super powerful. She will have her homeboys (Ratchets always have homeboys because other girls just don’t understand their struggle) joyriding in your whip. Just because she’s not well educated doesn’t mean she’s not conniving.

Ratchets Don’t Have An Inside Voice: Have you ever been in a store and a school of Ratchets walk in? They’re yelling, they’re laughing, and they’re openly criticizing why there is no air conditioning. Ratchets are happy to be outside and they have to let everyone know it. I’d rather take a 2 year old to the movies than a Ratchet; at least with the kid you can explain their ignorance. You think a Ratchet is going to sit through The King’s Speech? “Fuck this win a award for? Nigga all stuttering and shit, we should have seen Big Mama’s House; I can’t geek off this shit!” Sure she’ll eventually get into the plot, but she’ll give commentary as if she’s the only one in the theater, “Yo! I knew the King was going to give a bomb ass speech, that’s my nigga!” Loud places, always take her to loud places.

Ratchets Have No Color: People wrongly categorized the Ratchet as “ghetto”. No! Ratchets aren’t always from the ghetto. This isn’t a Black and Hispanic epidemic. There are White Ratchets currently fucking for Jessica Simpson Handbags. Go to Wal-Mart, not the nigga-mart, the one a few miles further out—it’s Ratchet central. Look at Teen Mom, MTV is making so much money off of White Girl Ratchetness. You can’t tell me Janelle is not the Anakin Skywalker of Ratch. Fuck the local chick who goes to the club pregnant and tells everyone it’s cool for her to drink because she’s getting an abortion next weekend, Janelle is a cultural icon and thus the most powerful Ratchet in the galaxy. There are Asian Ratchets over in Japan who could care less about the Tsunami; they’re trying to drink sake and see how low your katana blade swings. She brings dishonor to her family, but she has fun doing it. Ratchets are universal; don’t be fooled by complexion or upbringing.

Ratchets Aren’t Easy: Little man who emailed me wanted some ass with attitude, something he could bang out over the summer; he’s confused the Ratchet with the smuts. Ratchets aren’t hoes. They may do hoeish things, but just because she’s in the club with blonde micro braids and no panties under that denim skirt doesn’t mean she’s going to be easy prey. The title of “longest it took to sleep with” doesn’t belong to the classiest chick I’ve been with, or the most educated, or even the oldest, it was a Ratchet. I put up with all of her ratchet ways, and it was only when I gave up that I got this call, “You sleep? You feel like coming to get me, I’m at this house party and its boring”. She was bored so she decided to fuck me, she straight objectified me! I had another girl over and I quickly gave her an excuse as to why I had to take her home because she was a corny broad and that girl waiting was Ratchet and if you’ve been with a Ratchet you know…

Ratchets Fuck Like Champs: Girls like Goons because Goons tend to be aggressive, they know there will be no foot rubs and sensual kissing of the belly button, you’re getting dicked down. Even good girls like to be pounded out to the point where their legs shake for an hour afterwards. Ratchets are the same way. They fuck, they don’t make love. They don’t have time for the bullshit, four play is opening the Four Loko, 69 is not optional, and your dick better stay hard because she won’t roll over and accept that your penis failed to put her to sleep.

Ratchets Love Rap: You ever pull up next to a Ratchet? You would think she would be bumping Trey Songz or Chris Brown. While those dudes have a special place in their heart, Ratchets love vulgarity. I was in a club and I heard a chorus of Ratchets singing along to “She ride dick so good, She ride dick so good. Never seen a bitch ride dick dis good, she a bad lil bitch dat I met in my hood" Those lyrics don’t demean Ratchets, they fuel them. Ratchets have 2pac confidence, they think they have a penis and men are their bitches, so rap music speaks to their soul. Ratchets don’t like Drake because he’s not hard. They want niggas with dreads who make gun sounds. If you’re planning on keeping your Ratchet happy make sure you own every Boosie Bad Ass mixtape.

Ratchets Are Loyal: I use to keep a few of my old Ratchets in the phone because you never know when you may need help. A girl gets out of hand, you can’t hit her, so you call your Ratchet. You can’t get your dainty girlfriend or your jumpoff who never wears sneakers to handle your beef; they aren’t built for fighting in the middle of the street. A hood nigga without a revenge Ratchet is like the X-Men without Wolverine-- weak. My boy once had this Ratchet walk up in the gas station and slide the hell out of this girl who he thought keyed his car. That Ratchet had nothing to gain; she was looking out for her homeboy. You don’t just cut a Ratchet off once you realize you can’t handle her ways, you have to distance yourself slowly, the last thing you want is beef with the local Ratchet union.

Ratchets Need Love To: Just because she’s a little rough around the edges doesn’t mean she can’t make you happy. You may be the type of guy who needs a less refined woman, let people make fun of your Ratchet, she’ll probably make you happier than these pretentious girls who walk around with a stick in their ass and pretend to be high class. Men may think its all fun and games messing around with a girl they initially view as substandard but end up falling in love with her uncouth personality. Ratchets don’t know they’re Ratchet; they are simply living life the best way they know how, rocking the clothes they think look hot, gluing in the weave they think looks glamorous, and eating the food they like to. Rhinestone nails with tacky designs and outdated cell phones don’t make her less of a woman; she’s doing what she wants the only way she knows how. I respect the Ratchet because she keeps it real.

Will Smith Speaks On The "Law Of Attraction"...

In this video, Will Smith gives us a lot of insight into how he uses his thoughts and his mind to control his reality. He talks about the law of attraction a lot... This is a very insightful interview with Tavis Smiey. Enjoy :)

Is A Phat Ass Important?

“Some of u fellas have awful taste in women. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but CMON. A phat azz does not make her bomb…” - @LBoogie007

The Ass. Like Fried Chicken, Kool-Aid, and high cholesterol, is embedded in Black Culture. Black Men love ass. Hell, these days ALL men love ass regardless of race, but it’s the Black Man who would look at something like Buffy The Body and say “Damn, I need that” and then look at Alicia Keys and say, “she's okay if you like little bubbles”. Just "okay"? Those two names shouldn’t even be uttered in the same sentence homie.

Let me get this off my chest—HAVING A PHAT ASS IS OVERRATED.

I love to watch you switch, I love to dance with you in the club, I may even give it a smack just to see how solid it is. But that’s where my fascination ends. I have never messed with a girl because of ass size, that's the least important part of the package, if she's holding-- cool, that's just the cherry on top. A phat ass does not make the pussy better. A phat ass doesn’t make doggy style more enjoyable for me. Truthfully the only time it’s ever been worth the hype is when she’s riding from the back and you can get the full portrait as it bounces up and down. That’s a great POV. But it’s not worth it if that’s all she’s bringing to the table.

UGLY GIRLS WITH PHAT BUTTS: For every Kim Kardashian you have a Deelishes… we all know Deelishes could be a stuntman in The Expendables but niggas love to “ooh” and “ahh” over her despite her manly features. I’ve seen guys stop in the intersections, green light and everything, and they’re hypnotized watching a chick switch by. They don’t look at the face; they’re looking at the ass.The club is the worst because your objective is to dance with the girl with the biggest butt, and thankfully clubs are dark. You grinding on me got me rock hard because your booty was big and soft, but if the lights come on and you look like Whoopie Goldberg's less attractive little sister, it's a wrap. But I’m in the minority. Every day a nigga hollas at a Grenade because of what she’s packing behind her, if they have to deal with a WNBA face in order to get to a Video Vixen ass, they’ll do it. “Oh man she gotta a reindeer ass” A reindeer is a fucking animal. I don’t want to fuck Donner or Blitzin! Sitting a cup on an ass does not make my dick hard. At the same time, if you're a big booty Judy who isn't the prettiest-- USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. I was at this battle of the bands with some friends; this girl who I just met had “The Front’s Even Better” written on the back of her shirt. This girl had a humongous ass, but her face wasn't that appealing. The other girl who I was with whispered to me, “She should switch that shirt around”. I died laughing. And as dude after dude broke their neck looking at her ass and trying to get her number we just kept laughing, the girl had no idea of the inside joke and just said, “yall two silly”. She carried herself like she was a dime because since she developed that booty, dudes have been giving her dime attention, but to the average eye she would be classified as busted. But I give her props because swagger is the most attractive thing a girl can have, and that ass allowed her to have super hyper combo finisher swag.

ANY BIG ASS WILL DO: A Big ass and a Phat ass are NOT THE SAME. I've noticed lately that chicks with big sloppy booties are equally sought after. You know, the post 25, 3 kids pushed out, and still thinks she has a 19 year old's ass? They're in style too. I was with my homie eating and he went crazy when this chick walked in. Her ass wasn’t an apple, it wasn’t a bubble, it was stupid dumb soggy. You can look and see that once you peel off those sculpting jeans, the cottage cheese will drop faster than Owen Hart. But he was like “that’s what I’m talking about”. I was like she looks like a Tranny, he was like “I’m talking bout that ass”. Really? That’s all we’re talking about? You would put your dick in something that looks like Jamarcus Russell with a wig on, just because she has a badly aging donkey ass?

I like a pretty face above all, and then I’m a titty man. I will look at your cleavage and not apologize because you know what that shirt was meant to do—attract eyes to your milk mountains. I know some white dudes that swear by nice long legs. But all of my close friends love either the Phat Azz or the Big wide ol’ booty above all else. I see nice breast, I think about sucking them. I see your ass—ummm I’m not sucking that. I’m not licking it. I’m not even going to to fuck the actual ass. I had a girl with a donk in Philly, I couldn’t even enjoy looking at it jiggle because she refused to fuck with the lights on. 

You see this girl, she’s blessed. She has a Phat ass, big titties, and a pretty face. That’s hitting the jackpot. But she’s no better than you. Not all girls are born like that. And you know what—Who cares if you have a perfect ass like KiKi’s or a square butt? A brilliant rack like Adara’s or a flat chest? It doesn’t matter. ALL women have positives that they should be proud of. Do not covet what you weren’t blessed with. Which brings me to the real point of the blog.

Love Yourself

That british girl Victoria Windslowe died trying to get ass implants. She was so obsessed with having a phat ass that she flew all the way across the pond for an illegal procedure. She wanted to be the girl the boys broke their neck for. She didn’t get breast implants, she didn’t want a nose job, she wanted an ass because that’s what men today want. She’s not alone. If you’re a dude you can name dozens of girls who’ve complained “I wish my butt was bigger” or gotten hype, “My booty got big over the summer”. Black girls are so subconscious when they don’t have an ass because our culture dictates that “all black girls must have a big butt”. That’s bullshit. Not all Black Men have big dicks, but you don’t see Leon and Little Kev going to get penis implants. Niggas rock with what they got. Another thing that bothers me is gassing girls up. Bitch you have a small butt, I’m not saying its flat, but Christopher Columbus could see that it ain’t that round. Yet some nigga will get in your ear and say, “damn ma, you got a phat ass”.  Now shorty thinks she’s Angel Lola Luv. I’ve seen a girl rock the same jeans every time she went to the mall because those were the jeans she got a compliment in. WHY? Why do you need a big ass to be happy? Do you realize that for every big ass there is a bigger one? Ass injections are here to stay because of females with low self esteem. 

A lot of haters want to blame Nicki Minaj as the reason for this shit like she invented having a phatty girl. When I met Nicki the first thing I thought was “it’s not even that big”. Don’t get me wrong it’s a nice ass, but to look at pictures and TV you’d think it was this monstrosity. It’s really not. I don’t know about butt injections, only she knows that. But to stand inches away from that ass, you wouldn't go OMG, because you can see bigger asses on girls that work at McDonalds. And to Roman's credit she doesn’t throw the fact that she has a phat ass in everyone’s face like Trina did. She’s said maybe two punch lines about her butt, she would much rather brag about shoes than her ass. Love her or hate her you have to respect that she’s not promoting that part of her persona in her lyrics or overtly in her videos (not one ass shot in the "Moment For Life" video), so stop using her as the spokesperson for these butt injections.

Niggas love big butts, some would choose a big ass over a pretty face, and I know it makes pretty girls with smaller derrieres upset, but why waste your energy? No one can tell another person to like one thing over another. Every girl has things they would change about themselves, but at the end of the day be comfortable in your skin and have confidence that no girl is sexier than you are. And if pretty Tony with the wavy hair doesn’t like you because you don’t have a donk, you’re lucky because any man who is that ass obsessed has probably put his mouth places you don’t want to kiss after.

ARE U A CHEATER